It’s spring. This spring, however, is different from springs of the past. It is a new and different spring.
I don’t know about you, but I love the change of season. I think I love the anticipation and expectations. I remember the beauty of the prior year and expect it all over again. In spring, I look for the dogwood to put on its whimsical white blossoms. Summer brings fireflies and long days. Autumn...oh how it leaves me breathless! (my husband would be so impressed with the pun!) The leaves alone are worth reveling in, but add Thanksgiving to it and I just can’t even explain how much I adore autumn! Winter is usually a beautiful season of warm food, lots of family time, good books and great blankets. I expect to snuggle in and enjoy the season of hibernation.
But today, as I was reading through my PowerSheets, I read something I had written in December:
New seasons can be just as beautiful, or more beautiful, than the ones that have passed.
Today, this truth seeded itself into my heart. So I will tend it this spring.
Usually, I look forward to all the consistency and sameness each season. But some years, the season is full of unexpected differences. My son graduated high school one spring. That spring was very different. It will never be repeated, and it was beautiful. The hot summer months with both children swelling my belly was different...but oh so beautiful. It was filled with joy and it was a hard, toiling time. Being ready to give birth in July and August in Texas is hard by itself, but a few minor health complications added to the toil of childbirth! Nonetheless, it was two of the most beautiful summers I have in my memory!
I tend to struggle with change. I usually despise and resist it. Change tends to leave me ruffled and sometimes sad to boot. Ruffled because I like routine, consistency, and knowing what to expect. Sad because I catch myself longing for the beauty I once knew and have come to expect.
I remember vividly when my kiddos were 16 and 12 and I struggled with the change of relationships and all the growing up that was happening. The difficulty was that I was resisting the change…the independent spirits, no legos, less tree climbing. Instead of enjoying this new season, I lamented…out loud, nonetheless…about how I immensely missed 7 and 3! I missed the pigtails and snuggle-toothed smile, and the freckles; oh how I missed the freckles that were fading fast. But in doing that I was missing the beauty before me, not to mention making my children feel that 16 and 12 was not as exciting or fulfilling to me as the past! I am so thankful to God for bringing this attitude to my attention so I didn’t miss the whole transition. How sad it would have truly been if I had wished that year away!
Today when I reread what I had jotted down, it made me think about how I’m living right now. Am I seeing the beauty in this season, even in the hard things, the unexpected things? Am I missing today because I’m looking back at and longing for yesterday? Am I ruffled about the changes ahead, or am I facing them knowing God is on my side and in Him, all thing work to my good and are beautiful?
I'm pondering these questions in my heart and laying them at the feet of Jesus. I want to be present and expecting now. I want to drink in the beauty of this season. How are you doing this spring? Is it as expected and you’re able to love the beauty in the flowerbeds and your life, or is change disheartening you and making you wish this season away?