Ever wonder how to build a strong Trust relationship with your husband? I have a few tips. It is on my heart to re-post this from a Proverbs 31 Mini Series I did last year. Enjoy... I love Proverbs 31 because it spells out what a woman, wife and mother should look like. I know that there are many other scriptures that speak about women throughout the Bible, and they too, are powerful; however, I am going to delve into the Proverbs 31 woman. It will take several posts, and I'm sure tears and joy as I, too, am walking out what the Lord is speaking to my heart. I pray that I will be a blessing to those of you who read and that you will be encouraged and challenged as well.
Let's get started...
Have you ever encountered a couple, friend or acquaintance, that you just knew if the wife would shut up, maybe her husband would be better off? You know...the one who is nagging or taking small jabs at her husband's expense. Joking about his character flaws or abilities...even as she pretends it is all in jest. Have you been that wife? Do you know if you are that wife?
I, myself have been guilty of this to some extent. I have, in the past, poked fun of my sweet hubby and seen the reaction on his face telling me I went to far and hurt his Spirit, feelings, pride...etc. You don't have to be in a public place or even with other people for your words to do damage. Words can hurt even in the confines of your home.
"Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband does safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life." (Pro 31:10-12)
Scripture paints a picture of what we are to be as wives. Genesis tells us that we are to be helpmates to our husbands. 1 Timothy 3:11 says "...wives likewise must be dignified (honorable),not slanderers..." Our tongue should be used to edify and lift up our husbands...even when we don't think they DESERVE to be praised and lifted up. Our husbands will not EVER be the men of God they need to be when we are out of line. Scripture says that it is better for a man to live alone in the corner of a house than to live with a quarrelsome, brawling or angry wife (Proverbs 21:9, 19; 25:24). As married women, we need to be a safe refuge for our husbands. He should be able to bear his heart, faults, inadequacies, joys and triumphs with us without fear of being made fun of later, having his words thrown back at him, or being laughed at or ridiculed.
Our words can break the people we love. This scripture warns us of the consequences of loosing our husband's trust...He will have NEED of SPOIL....Hmmm, what does that mean? Maybe the sweet secretary that gives him the time of day, the neighbor that makes his favorite pie because she remembered his birthday, the grocery store cashier that laughs at his jokes...may innocently promote a feeling of resentment toward his wife, set his mind to wandering....or even worse, can lead to infidelity (whether emotional or physical)! Becoming a Wife that reflects Biblical principles is not always easy, nor is it always what our flesh WANTS to do, but it is what God has laid out in scriptures for us to model our lives by. It is a CHOICE you can make...It is YOUR responsibility to the Word of God to follow after it...It is NOT contingent on your husbands behaviors. I will bring peace to you and your home, a Godly heritage for your children...and even help other marriages you touch along the way.
Intentional Step to take:
Start by praying and asking the Lord to make you aware of the words that are not edifying...that are tearing down your marriage. Then, when you hear the words come out, stop and change them & apologize. If you can...don't even say what you are thinking! CONTROL your TONGUE! It has the power of Life and death in it, so CHOOSE life! Speak encouragement. Let it be genuine, heart-felt. It doesn't have to be deep, just positive...start little if you have to. Compliment his dress, hair, cooking, cleaning, joke telling (laugh at him)... this will begin to form a new habit and help change you pattern of thinking. Your children will even notice and begin to change the way they regard their father as well. As for your husband...after a while, he will begin to trust again...maybe even have a spark in his eye again.
My Wifely Pursuits!
I am in this boat with you. I am not perfect BY ANY MEANS...this week my goal is to laugh at my hubby's jokes more and to compliment his positive qualities to him and to others when he is around.
I would love to hear any positive results you begin to see from following God's model!
May you walk in Love and Mercy this week,
You can check out the update on this Post here. And for the rest of the series...just click the Proverbs 31 Tab above.