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How to Build Trust

Ever wonder how to build a strong Trust relationship with your husband? I have a few tips. It is on my heart to  re-post this from a Proverbs 31 Mini Series I did last year. Enjoy... I love Proverbs 31 because it spells out what a woman, wife and mother should look like.  I know that there are many other scriptures that speak about women throughout the Bible, and they too, are powerful; however, I am going to delve into the Proverbs 31 woman.  It will take several posts, and I'm sure tears and joy as I, too, am walking out what the Lord is speaking to my heart.  I pray that I will be a blessing to those of you who read and that you will be encouraged and challenged  as well.

Let's get started...

The Wife

Have you ever encountered a couple, friend or acquaintance, that you just knew if the wife would shut up, maybe her husband would be better off?  You know...the one who is nagging or taking small jabs at her husband's expense. Joking about his character flaws or abilities...even as she pretends it is all in jest. Have you been that wife? Do you know if you are that wife?

I, myself have been guilty of this to some extent. I have, in the past, poked fun of my sweet hubby and seen the reaction on his face telling me I went to far and hurt his Spirit, feelings, pride...etc.  You don't have to be in a public place or even with other people for your words to do damage. Words can hurt even in the confines of your home.

"Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband does safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life." (Pro 31:10-12)

Scripture paints a picture of what we are to be as wives. Genesis tells us that we are to be helpmates to our husbands.  1 Timothy 3:11 says "...wives likewise must be dignified (honorable),not slanderers..." Our tongue should be used to edify and lift up our husbands...even when we don't think they DESERVE to be praised and lifted up. Our husbands will not EVER be the men of God they need to be when we are out of line.  Scripture says that it is better for a man to live alone in the corner of a house than to live with a quarrelsome, brawling or angry wife (Proverbs 21:9, 19; 25:24).  As married women, we need to be a safe refuge for our husbands.  He should be able to bear his heart, faults, inadequacies, joys and triumphs with us without  fear of being made fun of later, having his words thrown back at him, or being laughed at or ridiculed.

Our words can break the people we love.  This scripture warns us of the consequences of loosing our husband's trust...He will have NEED of SPOIL....Hmmm, what does that mean?  Maybe the sweet secretary that gives him the time of day, the neighbor that makes his favorite pie because she remembered his birthday, the grocery store cashier that laughs at his jokes...may innocently promote a feeling of resentment toward his wife, set his mind to wandering....or even worse, can lead to infidelity (whether emotional or physical)! Becoming a Wife that reflects Biblical principles is not always easy, nor is it always what our flesh WANTS to do, but it is what God has laid out in scriptures for us to model our lives by. It is a CHOICE you can make...It is YOUR responsibility to the Word of God to follow after it...It is NOT contingent on your husbands behaviors.  I will bring peace to you and your home, a Godly heritage for your children...and even help other marriages you touch along the way.

Intentional living

 Intentional Step to take:

Start by praying and asking the Lord to make you aware of the words that are not edifying...that are tearing down your marriage. Then, when you hear the words come out, stop and change them & apologize.  If you can...don't even say what you are thinking!  CONTROL your TONGUE!  It has the power of Life and death in it, so CHOOSE life!  Speak encouragement.  Let it be genuine, heart-felt.  It doesn't have to be deep, just positive...start little if you have to.  Compliment his dress, hair, cooking, cleaning, joke telling (laugh at him)... this will begin to form a new habit and help change you pattern of thinking. Your children will even notice and begin to change the way they regard their father as well.  As for your husband...after a while, he will begin to trust again...maybe even have a spark in his eye again.

My Wifely Pursuits!

I am in this boat with you.  I am not perfect BY ANY MEANS...this week my goal is to laugh at my hubby's jokes more and to compliment his positive qualities to him and to others when he is around.

I would love to hear any positive results you begin to see from following God's model!

May you walk in Love and Mercy this week,


You can check out the update on this Post here.  And for the rest of the series...just click the Proverbs 31 Tab above.




Looking Back

Over the last several days, I have been updating the "catagory" labels on my posts.  This meant..Looking Back.  What a blessing it has been. I have never been a journal keeper.  I have said, several times, to myself that a prayer or praise Journal would be a great, idea...but I just haven't been able to bring myself to writing it down. As a kid, even, I didn't keep a "diary."  I have never wanted to write my heart on paper for people to read!  I have ALWAYS feared the "wrong" eyes reading my thoughts...letting my vulnerable heart be, I didn't write.

The funny thing is...I still say "I don't keep journals."  I'm usually pretty adamant about it, too! HAHA!  What did I think this BLOG was?

After reading over 3 years of blog enteries...laughing...crying...remembering God's hit me that this is where I expose my heart, where I celebrate milestones, where I journal...where I become more vulnerable.

I have thouroughly enjoyed Looking Back.  I would encourage you to pull out your journals, photo albums or Blog posts and Remember the Goodness of the Lord...what he has brought you through...where you are going...and who you are becoming In Christ and give Him all the Glory.

"Then Moses said to the people, "Remember this day in which you came out from Egypt, out of the house of slavery, for by a strong hand the LORD brought you out from this place. " Exodus 13:3

"You shall remember that you were a slave in the land of Egypt, and the LORD your God brought you out from there with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm. Deu 5:15

"Therefore remember that at one time you Gentiles in the flesh, called "the uncircumcision" by what is called the circumcision, which is made in the flesh by hands-- remember that you were at that time separated from Christ, alienated from the commonwealth of Israel and strangers to the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world. But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ." Eph 2:11-13


I am thankful that I have written...Even if it is merely for me to Remember!



Standing Against the Devour

I love that the Word of God is TRUE, and applicable for every person, everyday!  The last few weeks, well months, I should say, have been a mind battle for me.  I have been struggling with anxiety, which I have NEVER, EVER had to deal with in my life.  I have been taking herbal remedies, drinking chamomile tea, pushing on with the task at hand...BUT most of all...I've been praying and quoting scripture...praying and quoting scripture and then...praying some more.  God is ALWAYS faithful to me.  I stand against the devour, even when it is stubborn and I have to stand longer.  Intentional Living

Satan comes to kill, steal and destroy. (John 10:10) He comes to kill my peace, cripple me from experiencing the Fullness of God's Joy, to slowly push me into a cacoon of solitude.  If I don't realize that Satan is is seeking whom he may devour (1 Peter 5:8)...I will become the prey!

But...there is hope for those of us who love the Lord Jesus!  We don't have to sit and slowly watch our fears become crippling, anxieties to stop us in our tracts or sadness to rob us from the vastness of God's Joy he has given us.  We have POWER in the name of Jesus to rebuke...stand against, resist, defy the ungodly in our lives. We have been given the power of Life and Death in our words (Proverbs 18:21)

"Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm." Eph 6:11-1

God is not a god that created us and stands off to watch and see what happens.  He gives us His WORD that is full of instruction for living and prospering. We don't have to live in fear, dispair, or rejection.  When we recognize who the instigator of ALL evil is, we can begin to fight by the Spirit..and not with fleshly remedies.  Jesus' name is higher than all names. There is power when we say to the enemy, "I rebuke ______ in the Name of Jesus!"  When we stand on the very words of God and fight with Spiritual weapons, we prosper! When we guard ourselves with the armor of God and are alert to the schemes of the enemy, we can resist them quicker and not be lulled into a stupor.

I am standing firm, recognizing my enemy and being victorious through the mighty name of Jesus! It isn't always easy...I forget who the enemy is at times...BUT my Hope, my Victory, my Peace is in the ressurection power of the Name of Jesus and I will stand...and when I have done all...I will stand firm!





Obedience Is a Heart Issue

The Lord does not give me rules, but he makes His standard very clear. If my
relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with
Him – namely, myself. If I obey Jesus Christ in the seemingly random
circumstances of life, they become pinholes through which I see the face of
.” Oswald Chambers

I read this as a caption on a page yesterday. It touched me profoundly. The book I was reading was about parenting and the different changes in the Seasons of childhood. When I read this quote, I instantly thought about my relationship to my Heavenly Father, but as I read the chapter on transitions,sympathy, discipleship and not moving into legalism as a parent...I began to apply this quote to my children.

Our children need to know that we love them, no matter what. That we can, and do, validate their feelings. (Of course, this does not mean allowing them to get away with wrong actions because we "understand" why they may have acted out!) The point is that even the most compliant child may not be obedient because they love us. It could be that the quiet, compliant and reserved child we perceive as obedient and "good" has a serious heart issue.

If we, as parents, do not hold the hearts of our children, who does? Have you asked yourself that lately? Our hearts desire as parents should be to have our children obey or carry out our wishes when we are not looking because they love, and honor us...not simply because we have a hard swing or a loud bark.

Take time to KNOW your children, relate to them and earn their trust and their hearts....It's worth the investment!